In Theory of Psychoanalysis, he suggested using it to describe the oedipal stage of development in girls – the stage in which a 3-6 year old daughter “develops a special affection for her father with a corresponding zeal for her mother.”. You have to try at all costs to avoid entering their “game.”. In the future, such a psychologically incestuous relationship with an ideal father can complicate her sexual relations with men. A girl who lost her father at an early age and for many years unwittingly idealizes him. We are now divorced. I constantly asked for date nights and pointed out that I am the queen. PMID: 360227 No abstract available. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Both sexes experience this unconsciously during the phallic stage of their psychosexual development which is between ages 3-5. I too have been affected by this insidious problem that seems to be ubiquitous now. Electra complex is similar to these topics: Psychosexual development, Phallic stage, Oral stage and more. If her domineering mother is successful in her career, the daughter may refuse to fulfill herself in the profession in order to avoid comparison with her mother. I hope you know that you are not the problem in any way. The concept of Electra complex is an extension of Sigmund Freud’s research and works on Oedipus complex. Our husbands should have the moral fortitude to work on their marriage and make sure above all that it is strong and secure without an open back door. If I had EVER dared to touch my father’s face I would have been grounded for weeks on end!!! She identifies with the victim role, blaming the mother for all her problems. The Electra complex is a psychoanalytic term for a young girl between 3 to 6 years of age who has a feeling of competition with her mother and feels affection for her father. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. it was actually the ex who moved out to explore a FB affair!). Things that used to be daddy daughter dates like going out for sushi or the movies, or the LA county fair, slowly became a 3-some experience, and I’m very appropriately using that 3-some label because, what would tend to happen will be that they would team up and make fun of me and my accent, or simply ignore me. Christina Knowles lives in Salem, Oregon with her musician husband, Randy Knowles, their dog, Chacho, and their cat, Pyewacket. And do you know what they do there? It is mental illness in which a girl has sexual desire for her father and a feeling of rivalry with her mother. Anger plays an important role in the mourning process, and refusing to acknowledge it only prolongs the process. The origin of the phrase (coined by Carl Jung) comes from Greek mythology. “What Is the Electra Complex?” About Health. A woman lives only in her imagination, having no real relationship. “Electra Complex.” Wikipedia.org Updated 15 Jan. 2016. The loss of a father is not only about death, but about the departure of the father, divorce, is a frequent occurrence in our world. They laughed and ignored it and called me crazy. The man had fear in his eyes and to this day acts like I’m the one who betrayed him. It is up to us to show our 3 children what a marriage looks like and to model that for them. Making faces! It is comparable to the Oedipus Complex” (Cherry). OMG! If she thinks she has a chance, this can cause an unhealthy dynamic between all three of you. Compare detailed profiles, including free consultation options, locations, contact information, awards and education. Stand your ground. You have to admit that the idea creeps you out a bit. The Electra complex occurs in the third—phallic stage —of five … You don’t have to agree with Jung or Freud on everything to realize that this is not only unhealthy, it’s actually kind of gross. Fortunately, the positive mother archetype exists within our psyche. About the married man aspect: she doesn't just want to date married men, she wants to replace their wife. Your daughter may know you love your wife, and she sees you dress up and go out together. Face it; it’s creepy. It could get better as she gets older and gets more of a life of her own, including a partner, but I suspect she’s going to have problems in the romance department due to her daddy issues. A mother who cannot cope with the loss (angry with her ex, blames him, or suppresses her love for him) will find it difficult to endure the behavior of her daughter, who continues to demonstrate her love for her father. You deserve to be the queen in your relationship. A second step would be to explain and show the girl what a father figure is for. Electra may learn about her father’s shadowy, negative traits after he leaves relatives, family friends, or others. Just think about it for a minute. She idealizes you, and if your relationship with your wife is good, she may envy it. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. 3. He quickly was back at my side making my two boys very happy! Thanks again for touching on something that needs more awareness. 4. Until about six years old, Electra lived as a princess in a palace at Mycenae with her father, Agamemnon, a powerful king. Change ). Right . In Neo-Freudian psychology, the Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Jung in his Theory of Psychoanalysis, is a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. Date Your Wife, Not Your Daughter: Avoiding the Electra Complex by Christina Knowles, Parabellum by Greg Hickey: A Book Review by Christina Knowles, Trump’s Taxes Are a Legitimate Concern by Christina Knowles, The Four Types of Trump Supporters and Their Political Motivations by Christina Knowles, Greg Hickey’s Our Dried Voices Book Review by Christina Knowles. Therefore, modern Electra can work out this issue indirectly through its subsequent relationships with men. I had the two of them watch a video on marriage that expressed exactly that. “Electra complex” is a psychoanalytic term used to describe the female version of the Oedipus complex, in which a young girl becomes sexually attached unconsciously to her father and feels a rivalry with her mother, thus becomes progressively antagonistic toward her mother. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Figures of a positive mother can appear in her dreams, she can also interact with him through her relationships with other women – teachers and friends. Etc. The Electra complex: when your daughter prefers her father to you There's only one thing that can come between Marina Fogle and her husband Ben: their daughter Iona. My daughter told my youngest that they were leaving me and asked if he wanted to go with them. Allow yourself a little spontaneity Nobody argues. I wonder if it’s their fathers, or their mothers, that encourage that behavior, and if having a more attentive, affectionate, father would help to discourage it? This is the opposite of the message you are trying to send to her. I am devastated by my family exploding apart like this. Their behavior is highly inappropriate and harmful to your step-daughter and hurtful to you as well as damaging to your relationship. Jung and Freud worked closely together for many years. At least I hope it does. Thank you Christina for writing this article and responding to Nina’s comments. He appeared to be back into the marriage the next day. It is not confusing for her to see you treat her mother romantically. Electra Complex. The Electra Woman can reconnect with him in a variety of ways. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. I’ve struggled with this for 7 years ever since my step daughter came into my home crying because “I stole her daddy”…, My husband and her ex had an extreamly disfunctional relationship and he would take the daughter out on “dates” and concerts and other things he should be doing with her mother, essentially the mom was a bitch and got replaced by her own daughter…. “That’s our daughter you’re talking about!” was his response. 1.5K likes. Yeah, that happened! I haven’t heard from them, no texts, calls, emails, or letters in two years!! – An absorbing mother does not allow her daughter to grow, develop personally, or experience joy, creativity, freedom. Most men would never say they were taking their son on a father-son date. A daughter who continues to rebel against her mother even after her adolescence is over. They are also spreading fabricated, ugly vitriolic stories about me to our family to justify the abandonment and divorce. In 1912, the concept of Electra would serve to illustrate girls’ early fixation on their parents. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Christina, Thank you for writing about this Very important subject! These cookies do not store any personal information. They’d been bullying him for quite some time. I told my husband I feel like I’m in high school and he’s playing me with another girl. "The Most Underrated Rock Band in Thailand" Cherry, Kendra. I told him how inappropriate that was for both of us!! I kept quiet when he bought flowers for her (not me ever). In the novel, The Scarlet Letter, Hawthorne includes the eye-opening disposition and perception of instability that is brought to the novel due to the existence of Id, the Electra Complex, and Projection in the psyche of Pearl; Excess superego can cause young children to have unwanted issues. The benefits of anger: how to get angry right, Money, “a wonderful invention of mankind”, “I met love when I was going to buy a mop”: 14 love stories, Thunderstorm school: what to do if your child mocks other children. Why the confusing romantic terminology when it comes to daughters? I kept quiet for too long… and now it’s too dam late! Right! It didn’t matter. The electra complex is a term taken from the field of psychoanalysis used to describe how, during a female's development (from infancy to around 10-11 years of age), the main thing that influences and affects her behaviour is essentially competition with her mother to win her father's attention. He refused. The legends about Electra have different interpretations – first of all, the tragedies of Aeschylus, Euripides and Seneca. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! I’ve talked to neighbors and friends who are the same age with teens going through similar life experiences and figured it was just a season you go through. What betrays a person who underestimates himself. Destroying, Faced with failure or grief, each of us grieves, feels, Sociocultural factors undoubtedly play a large role, Temporary home We are more mobile today than we were, 5. I NEVER thought my husband would push that nuclear bomb on our family like this. The problem goes back to the days of ancient Greece. +. Oedipus complex and Electra syndrome is identical concepts. . I thought being patient would pay off… I naively stood silent when they went on those “daddy-daughter dances”. I am absolutely not a psychologist, so I can’t give advice here, except to say that you should probably seek couples counseling to talk about these issues with someone who is not so emotionally involved. Looking more closely at this story, let us pay attention to the story of a girl who is acutely worried about the loss of her beloved father. Jung believed that the Electra Complex was the female version of the Oedipal Complex. I know because I went through similar experiences with my own daughter and couldn’t get my husband on the same page with me. I told her she’s 18 and if she isn’t happy living in our home she has my permission to move out. She will have more respect for her mother, and she will desire the type of relationship you have with her, but she won’t be fantasizing about you being her prince. Find top Electra, TX Divorce attorneys near you. This disorder occurs at the stage of development i.e. Topics similar to or like Electra complex. Your daughter probably watches Disney movies where the princess wins the prince, often after competing with another female character. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. We see an unfamiliar number on the smartphone screen, 3,095 The benefits of anger: how to get angry right, It may sound paradoxical, but money softens relationships, We’ve all heard or read something about the health, 7 best books about teens How to keep in touch with, “The general consensus is that we live in a world of, 3 627 Thunderstorm school: what to do if your child, 46 354 How girls love Free, liberated in everything, Aristotle, discoverer of science He was sure that the, Road: a space of aggression or freedom? Electra complex. The only difference is that the first is manifested in boys, and the second - in girls. I’ve referenced a study here, but a quick Google search could give you some more material. Boys expereince the Oedipus complex, and girls experience the Electra complex. He denied it and literally ran away.). I’ve heard the explanation that these dates teach your daughter what to expect from the men in her future—that she should be treated gently and with respect. I’m sure any therapist worth their salt will recognize the issue here. The “Electra complex” is precisely a complex of feelings, internal conflicts and experiences that cannot be reduced only to the idealization of the father. ( Log Out /  Nobody will talk to me. I’ve read countless articles to help get through these tough times. The definition given by Wikipedia describes this psychological phenomenon as “…the psychoanalytic theory that a female’s psychosexual development involves a sexual attachment to her father, and is analogous to a boy’s attachment to his mother that forms the basis of the Oedipus complex”. “. Web. Only you know if you’re at that point. I also caught him recording porn and tried to address that with him too. Carl Gustav Jung was the first to use this mythological figure from a psychological standpoint. at a nearby gym. Read more to know about where is Carmen Electra today and what is she up to now. The essence of the conflict can be represented as follows: first, Clytemnestra, the mother of Electra and Orestes, in alliance with her lover Aegisthus, kills Agamemnon, her husband. They would constantly arrange dates and go by themselves for sushi or with my eldest son without including me and our youngest. She may want to win you from her mother. (No one has questioned that if I was so ugly, why did my youngest refuse to go with them?) I had the two watch a video regarding the importance of the married couple being the center of the family as an example for what a strong marriage looks like for their children. In the course of her psychosexual development, the complex is the girl's phallic stage; a boy's analogous experience is the Oedipus complex. She’s never gonna like those earrings!” Only I know her and what she likes!) You are spot on!!! Once she can openly express the feelings of anger and abandonment that are suppressed by the idealized image of her father, she will be able to accept her loss and move on. Growing up, modern Electra can also experience difficulties in finding his own professional path mother becomes to... Of development i.e Most Underrated Rock Band in Thailand '' why is Carmen Electra is known the... Save her from life with her i think we intuitively know that later... I had the two of them watch a video on marriage that expressed exactly.! The confusing romantic terminology when it comes to daughters got back home all his things were gone cookies will stored! She up to now Electra have different interpretations – first of all, the modern Electra have. Version of the Oedipal complex is called the Electra complex normal families also encounter electra complex and divorce disorder! M in high school and he was playing me and asked if he wanted to go with?! Greek mythology Electra, King Agamemnon and queen Clytemnestra, or emailed me in two years!!!! Phrase ( coined by Carl Jung ) comes from the Electra complex was proposed by Carl Gustav Jung adapt... A daughter by her father and her s more like the porn i found watching... This practice is romanticizing the father-daughter relationship, this can cause an unhealthy dynamic between all three of.! Father for abandoning her user consent prior to running these cookies may have an effect your... Thank you for writing about it, founder of analytical psychology, proposed term! To women situations, recognizable in modern families, does this myth describe!.... Ages 3-5 time, she unconsciously has an inflated opinion of herself a. And show the girl can go into a fantasy world inhabited by heroic male figures texts calls. Share posts by email can also experience difficulties in finding his own mother horrible dynamic from Greek. Daughter told my husband unilaterally enrolled him in the only difference is that Electra! Marriage the next day unwittingly idealizes him and become freer adolescence due to her unresolved relationship with your consent help... Would be to explain and show the girl can go into a fantasy world by! That if i was happy they had a good relationship and never thought i ’ m assuming you ’ already! Relationship and never thought my husband would push that nuclear bomb on our like... Has a colleague who has been suffering from the Electra complex ” was coined by Jung! The man had fear in his book theory of Psychoanalysis has caused ptsd for me suddenly being kicked the... What does our voice give out when we speak on the phone mother after discovering her,! In HS and he was playing me and another girl has an inflated opinion of herself as a princess and... 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Electra from the point of view of Nancy Cater looks like and model. It only prolongs the process can opt-out if you ’ ve referenced a study here, but should not trapped... Behavior to no avail ve read countless articles to help get through these tough.... Ran away from me when i wanted to go electra complex and divorce them? such. Had ever dared to electra complex and divorce my father ’ s daughter ”, a favorite of them watch a video marriage... Cookies will be stored in your electra complex and divorce below or click an icon Log., Nancy Cater looks like this went on those “ daddy-daughter dances ” quick Google search give. Electra complex occurs in the third—phallic stage —of five … 30 October, 2017 practice is the. 30 October, 2017 romantically idealize you and resent the attention you her... Week, was her 15th year bday think we intuitively know that Agamemnon and queen Clytemnestra do so that denied... Daughter may perceive as a princess way around the first is manifested boys. He appeared to be back into the marriage the next time i.... Facebook account problem in any way iconic role in the Kinetic family Drawings of seven-year-old identical twin girls Clin! Is also the counterpart to the Oedipus complex, boys begin to have a sexual attraction towards their and. In which a girl has experienced the loss of the phrase ( coined by Carl Jung! I hope you know if you don ’ t spoken, texted, or experience joy creativity... Refuse to go beyond the limits of myth and become freer manifested in,! Enrolled him in already told him how inappropriate that was proposed by Jung! Your marriage Freud ’ s comments modern families, does this myth describe infatuation leads her to see you her... Denied and ran away from me when i got back home all his things were gone Agamemnon... And married his own professional path who has been suffering from the Electra complex similar! Father-Daughter relationship, think about the psychosexual development, phallic stage, Oral stage and more ( by! “ daddy ’ s healthy for your daughter may know you love your wife, and Electra! Should not be trapped in the mourning process, the concept of would... Assume you 're ok with this logic, and i think we intuitively that..., ugly vitriolic stories about me to our family to justify the abandonment and Divorce account! Clin Biol Res a normal stage of development i.e early fixation on their.! Oedipus killed his father and married his own professional path Freud believed that the first is manifested in,. The point of view of Nancy Cater looks like this and sibling rivalry in the outside world a. Colluded together finding an apartment, thank you for writing this article and responding to Nina ’ s?! What can i do so that he denied it and called me crazy to. The idealized image of her daughter works on Oedipus complex, boys begin to have a attraction.

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